Wednesday, 18 December 2013

If neo took the red tablet after following the white rabbit ?

Okay, before you proceed with reading all frivolous fanaticism that follows, I'm legally entitled to tell you that the title was used for the pure purpose of tempting you to follow the link and land here just like a lecherous neo followed the white rabbit and ended up in a fracas. However, you should be thankful enough to god that you have landed in a much better place, one whose posession is marked by fiduciary like me. This by no means is a transgression or contravention, neither is it chicanery or subterfuge. It's one plain, simple and veracious and free of malaise attempt to make you read this. Now that you've already read so much, why not read all of it.

Let's get it straight. The title did have something to do with the primordial content of the post but it was deliberately made equivocal to serve the purpose and trounce you. Oops ! I shouldn't have let that out. Anyways, the "tablet" in the title was a symobolgical manifestation of this awesome thing the benevolent gods bestowed us with. A tablet computer. While having transformed from the overwhelmingly bulky ones introduced by Microsoft in 2002 to being ones like Lenovo Yoga that stand for splendid legerity and bamboozling features, tabs have become a part and parcel of our life. Now as a panoply of people would have told you, Customer Is The King, so he or she gets to decide what a tab ought to have and what it ought not to. So here goes a comprehensive yet by no means exhaustive(yes, that's utterly oxymoronic) list of features that every tab should have. After all, having been an aficionado in this realm for quite some time and having tried my hands on every tab, the list deems some legitimacy as well as applicability.

 Food Proof

And despite being a connoisseur of tabs, I'm also a gourmand, not just a mere gourmet. How many times have I spilled ketchup on a tab screen only to find it later on that the mouse, in this case a literal organic one, enjoys the interface as much as its modern electronic counterparts helped my older alter egos to work on computers.A tab needs to have an auto detection mechanism to find out if anything apart from human skin has touched its surface. If there's any paltry stain of water, oil, or as in my case ketchup, on the screen, it should wipe it off automatically. How you tab companies do it, that's your choice as you know it best.

 Alternative Energy Sources

We all know the limitations of batteries so we won't overburden tab makers with putting more impetus and currency into R & D and coming up with better battery life. However, what can be done is that they could leverage on alternative sources. They could go for small and cherubic hydrogen fuel cells. If T1000 from Cyberdyne systems Cybernetic organism division could run on two hydrogen powered fuel cells and carry enough energy to travel through time, why can't a tab have a hydrogen fuel cell with enough energy to run without getting charged for a lifetime. 


Although with Yoga, Lenovo has done its bit in making tab usage more pliable and easy, tabs still have a long way to go in terms of surviving the test of time. One good thing about our predecessors was that they made things that were meant to last forever. The Ashok Pillar at Lal Quila in Delhi is a classic example and so are the plethora of monuments erected across the planet made for a variegated set of purposes. Whatever they might have been, they still persist. But that's not to be as far as tabs are concerned. You drop them by chance and they are so vulnerable that off goes the screen. We now need a tab whose integrity is strong enough to sustain a blow from a Spartan cavalier. We need a tab that could simply stay long enough after we're gone, holding reminisce of what we did as a testimony to our awesomeness.

     What's with the RAM

Having been someone who has run Windows 98 on a whopping 64 MB of SDR SDRAM with a mind boggling 8 MB of graphics memory, I know what kind of revelation mankind has experienced by the benevolence of our all powerful and magnanimous friends back there in silicon valleys. But still, why can't we  at least have as much RAM in a tab as much HDD space I relished back in 1999. I'm asking for a mere 8 GB. I guess it's time we stop being boastful about laptops carrying that much of RAM and smartphones carrying that much of data card memory. We now have transcended those bounds we made when we were stupefied enough by our complacence. Just a little more application of Moore's law, a little more R & D, a few more Steves, Bills, Shockleys and Ritchies, and we'll just about be there. And alongside will come another revolution in graphical memory. Not far away are those days when 1 GB of graphics memory would almost become ubiquitous in tabs.

Nuke Resistant

And last but not the least, the minimum you can expect a tab to do for you, a basic desiderata that it can fulfill for you, is that a tab has to be resistant to radioactive radiations and energy that is emanated from a billion megaton nuclear explosion. A tab should not have the propensity to melt away amidst the billions of kilo joules of energy produced in such an explosion. Instead, it is expected of futuristic tablets to be able to tap in all that energy and save it for being used as a fuel later on. They shouldn't restrict it to energy usage for running the tab itself, but one must also provide provision for using that same gargantuan behemoth pile of energy to run entire homes for years. Similarly, a tab should also have an ancillary feature of tapping and storing energy that results as a result of thunderstorm lightening. Likewise, tabs in the future could also come up with features to store in energy produced by other natural sources of viable energy like storms, earthquakes, and whirlpools. 

In order to conclude this otherwise suggestive post with my own parlance, I would recommend addition of another feature in futuristic tabs that would serve both an egalitarian as well as a scientific purpose. Tabs should be equipped with a tuning fork or some other resonating frequency generating equipment which could be directly brought in touch with ground in case of an earthquake and could be used to guage the exact magnitude of the implosion within the ground and within time, it could be used to produce waves exactly of the same frequency but in the opposite direction so that the impact of the earthquake could be curtailed if not fully taken care of. Imagine a world where every man was equipped enough to save a billion men's lives. Imagine a world where every tab was conferred the status of a hero and every user of a tab too felt like a hero. And last but not the least, imagine a world where all the lackadaisical conjuring mentioned above manifested themselves in reality. 


  1. Food proof and nuke safe :D

    Good luck, dear.

    1. Well, after having indited the post, I observed that the only word from the central theme to which my post relates is "outrageous" :P

  2. Hmm hydrogen fuel cells in tab... now that is interesting...

    1. Yep. The only care which we as users will have to take then, would be the proper disposal of the cells after they're all used up :D