Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Alok Nath, the coolest dude on the planet.

Ba, whose age is ostensibly more than 450 years given that she shared a meal or two with Akbar, was feeling lachrymose on Alok Nath's waning youth, which he actually never had. Ba, who jogs in the mornings and dates hogs in the evenings, has seen as many as 7 incarnations of Mihir and she has always seen him die young. Ba, who considered a 200 year old Alok Nath young, thought she should do something to rejuvenate and to resuscitate his youth. Alok Nath, who is not used to being avaricious and does not have a knack for going out shopping, with garlands and ritualistic paraphernalia for the Pujas being the only things he buys, was to be deceived into buying stuff. An ingenious Ba found a way. The Internet.

Alok Nath scours and rummages the Internet for each and every speck of religious wisdom and has even subscribed to pages of deities and consecrated religious demigods. Alok Nath has also subscribed to mailers and uses the Internet to download torrents of movies that ooze with religious sanctity. Alok Nath has also developed his own ways for blocking the morally decant pictures that are spread across torrent sites luring you to hit those links, as Alok Nath's stoicism is impregnable. Ba, however knew Alok Nath's flank gets exposed when it comes to his infallibility to devour anything sanctified. That was it. Ba knew Alok Nath was a patsy and would surely click a link he thought would lead to another religious site. Ergo, she masqueraded a link and sent it to Alok Nath from her email if BaRoxx1554@eastindiamail.com. Alok Nath's moral bulwarks were exposed. The link took him to a cool online shopping site baggout.com

Initially Alok Nath felt a scorching beam of ethical wickedness, as if all his years of self abnegation falling into pieces. There were all sorts of things, footwear, ties, trendy watches, all those things Alok Nath always gainsaid and abdicated, Alok Nath never moved beyond conventional wooden sandals, a beige Kurta Pyjama and never even as much as looked at anything topical. Alok Nath felt spiritually decimated. All his years of practice culminated in a morbid denouement. Alok Nath felt himself getting plunged into the dungeons of hell with Poseidon and others waiting for his arrival and their retribution. His eyes felt blank and there was no life after that. 

Suddenly, Alok Nath thought, why not become a renegade. If spiritual resorts were exhausted, why not live happily in the corporeal life. This thought struck in his mind when he saw a scintillating palatial set of solid boots staring right in his eyes. Alok Nath always wanted something like that. Even he felt the desire to impress women of his age, but he renounced and even denounced those ideas. He slapped himself once or twice to extinguish the inner inferno of desires, but his conscience squat. He was about to leave the site and go to a purgatory for cleansing but then he saw a cool watch. This was what he always wanted but always turned a blind eye to. Alok Nath wept and growled at all that was in front of him. Shirts, T shirts, Polos, jeans, jackets, mufflers, caps, accessories and he conjured himself being the heartthrob of a million devout women. He slapped himself again but couldn't keep his curiosity at abeyance. 

Days after days passed by and Alok Nath just kept looking at Baggout's gigantic collection. In all these generations, Alok Nath never realized he missed so much. He knew he was being ethically culpable with no impunity even in hell, but he browsed through the entire collection. In the meanwhile, he grew beard and hair and started looking a little funky. He felt elated on seeing the uncouth Alok Nath in the reflection on the laptop screen. Alok Nath felt tacky and visualized himself as a rapper of incantations. He squiggled his head again and just before slapping himself again, got his eye on a pair of jeans and a cool casual shirt. Alok Nath couldn't help but dream himself wearing that raiment with a pair of sunglasses to embellish his looks. He cried tears of joy at the very thought of it. Finally, the puritanical Alok Nath realized that these worldly pleasures are beyond attainment and bode no no atonement for the sins he shall commit. Finally, he had to leave.

Just before leaving, Alok Nath wanted his burgeoning alter ego to remain convinced of his actions. This schism of being new versus being ancient was to be answered adeptly. Alok Nath probably wanted a reason to leave, high prices maybe. He wanted to tell himself that it's the impecuniousness which shall prevent him from going rogue. However, poor Alok Nath was in the fray again. He couldn't help but feel astonished at all the deals on Baggout. The assured cashback was bit of an epiphany but Alok Nath soon realized that buying all this cool stuff from baggout was actually going to cost less than getting his couture togas and sticharions from the tailors. Alok Nath quibbled and finally gave in, finally succumbed to the weight of his aspirations, and his desire to look cool and be the envy of many a men. Ba and Baggout succeded in making Alok Nath witness the transformation of a generation and here's how the new Alok Nath looks like. 

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